Lazy or Tired?

Or a little of both?

It's true, I gave myself a mental time-out from exercise following the Blackwood. I promised myself an "off-to-light" couple of months, nothing serious to train for, just the classes I have to teach, so I can recoup and focus on other things.


Afterall, it's Silly Season. Christmas is nearing. Work is insane. We are short staffed, we're all working overtime. There are parties and functions to organise, plus I am teaching three extra classes a week. I'm not *completely* resting on my laurels. I also promised I would put more focus and effort into work. And I am doing that, too.

But since I'm not training about 10-12 hours a week anymore, I'm feeling an odd kind of guilt. Because I have a lot of time on my hands that used to be spent training, I'm finding that I'm fluffing through my empty time and not really being purposeful about spending it. So, it'll take all morning to do dishes, cuz it can, rather than hurrying the process to get out and doing something else right away. This makes me feel lazy. But I also feel tired. And sometimes I'm not sure about which one it really is that I'm experiencing at any given time. Some of the things I'm experiencing:

• I am sleeping in later - but I'm staying up later, too. I don't have to be up any more. And I'm watching more pointless television. I'm wanting or having more naps.
• I'm drinking more tea again - this usually means I'm looking for a pick-me-up, which means I'm tired, but also I learned that artificially boosting my energy with caffiene (even as little as is available in a cup of black tea) does turn out to be an energy drain in the long run, so this is a viscious cycle I'd be better off dropping (again).
• I am skipping workouts without really worrying about making them up. E* couldn't make it in for our workout this morning, so I just didn't do mine. Generally I don't rely on other people to get me to exercise. I mean, they help - big time - but I've been (reasonably) self-motivated the last 12 months, so to skip out on a 15 minute workout seems like a silly lazy cheat.
• I don't have a big goal in mind, so as a result, I am 'floating', so-to-speak. Motivationally, I do far better having a big fat hairy audacious goal to strive towards. Without that, I'm just going through the motions.

How do you know if it's time to push through (cuz you're just feeling lazy) or rest (because you truly are tired)?

Resting on my Laurels

I've had a week off. It's been nice, but a bit too easy to get used to sitting around and just doing 'whatever'. Whatever often includes eating something, watching tv and sitting on facebook. Not really quality use of my time.

Now, I grant you, I needed that. I wanted to catch up on things. I wanted to rest.

Afterall, I really didn't have my whole body working for me until Wednesday, I had Aqua Gold and Aqua Intense choreography to sort out, I worked all day Saturday. I did some scrapbooking, bought much-needed groceries, cooked meals, did housework. So I had plenty of good reasons for sitting on my proverbial. I wasn't completely idle, but ... well...

What I didn't have a good excuse for was this Sunday morning.

My plan was to ride my bike to the pool at 6, have a little swim, head out for a little while on the bike, then open the Centre at 8am for the cleanup crew. I was thinking that I'd take TK for a walk today, too. He's got a nasty bite mark from Nero on his back, and can't put a saddle on him right now, but I thought a little time socialising with him would be a great idea.

Instead I slept in until 7am, went to work to open for the cleanup crew at 8am, then came home and started to clean my kitchen.

Okay, the kitchen REALLY REALLY needed a deep clean. It's probably been since this time last year that I washed the curtains and windows. It was time to de-web the house. And the mouse tracks were beyond disgusting. All the mice have moved indoors to hide from the big ass snake hunting in the hay shed. In truth, I've been putting cleaning the kitchen off for too long, and it is a huge job that I haven't managed to finish yet, even with most of the day spent on it. But at least most of the cupboards now smell 'lemon fresh bleach' clean!

But then, where was the swim, ride, walk? Have I already fallen that far off the wagon? "Yeah, I'm an Iron Woman, so I don't have to exercise." Uh, no, that doesn't seem right at all!!

Luckily, Helen asked me if I was coming on the 4:00 social ride today. I almost turned her down, but decided to put down my kitchen sponge and go for a ride!!

This coming week will see me pick up the number of active classes I teach from two to five, and there are pleny of opportunities to stay active thanks to work. But there's plenty more I need to do. If I don't run soon, I'll be back to square one. I want to try these exercise claims out. I need to set some goals. I need to get locked in to something great! I need to set a new workout schedule.

I don't seem to be able to exercise 'out of habit.' I know plenty of people who just get up and workout and that's that. I still have to make a conscious effort to strap on the shoes and head out. And this after a full year of high volume training, and knowing how great I feel when I workout.

Do you think this is strange? Or are you a regular exerciser who has to work at it too?

Don't You Just Love Getting Mail?

I got my entry forms and information package in the mail today, which was awesome. But even better, it came with a great letter from the Competition Director. 

You see, I sent in a letter with my nomination forms:

To Whom It May Concern:

I first heard about the Blackwood Marathon when I was a teenager, still living in Canada. My cousin and pen pal would write me and tell me about this amazing marathon, and how he did the horse part of it, but the whole family was involved. Of course, I was interetested! It involved riding horses in a marvellously foreign and exotic place in the world! And I wanted to do it!


When, many years later, I finally moved to Australia, I insisted to the family that we put in a team! So in 2006, my family who had once upon a time participated as the “Pingelly Pee Wees” and their parents who were the “Woodland Wobblers” came together again to do the Blackwood. We called ourselves “Woodland Wobblers II” and with much support and advice from the orginal Wobblers, we ran, canoed, swam, rode and biked our little hearts out!


I did the horse leg on my lovely little mare, Cassie. We came through slowly, because there are no such thing as hills in Katanning, so we had to take it slower than we had trained. We had done the distanaces, the trot work, but those hills just knocked my little girl out! But I think everyone who participated was a little surprised by the effort that we all had to put in! I'm sure it all seems easier when you're young and fit! But the imporant thing was that we vetted through and everyone in the team finished!


At the finish line, I can remember Sarah Wiese joking about how she was happy that her husband had given her his horse 'because she was too slow' and was completely inspired by the Iron People. For some reason, that evening, the idea was born that I was going to do that.

I would be a Blackwood Iron Lady!

It took some time for everything to come together. Four years in fact.


I lost my lovely horse that I rode in 2006 and trialed three other horses, each proving unsuitable for one reason or another, until this year when I got my lovely gelding, TK. He's not fast either, but he's strong and I'm confident in our ability to complete safely.


I also had a long-standing knee injury that made it nearly impossible to run more than a few hundred meters without pain. It took well over a year of careful training and building up to finally be able to run 12km without pain! I am so happy to finally be able to call myself a runner!


In Katanning, our pool opens at the end of October, after the Blackwood Marathon, so getting any swim training in has been a challenge! So far, I have had three training swims leading up to the event. And to top it all off, I've been nursing a shoulder injury for 6 months, and can only swim breast stroke!


And as there are no real hills to speak of to train on, the bike leg is terrifying to me! The very idea of starting on tired legs and a worn body and pushing UPHILL for the first half of the ride is going to challenge every part of me, mentally and physically!


Even today, only 10 days before the race, I still haven't paddled a kayak in water yet! I know! What is this crazy lady doing?


But since the Blackwood Marathon won't wait for me to be any more ready than I am, I am going to do it! I will be slow, and I'm okay with that! Feel free to start presentations without me! But it is my intention to complete. I am confident that the training I have put in will take me through to the end, and if not, it will take me to my limits and I will know I have done my very best!

I am looking forward to seeing everyone at the finish line and then collapsing in a big happy heap!

 And in my information package there was a letter of reply:

Hi Andrea,  

Loved the letter you sent with your entry.

My sister-in-law has also entered the ironwoman section for the first time as Sarah and Tim Wiese stay with them for the weekend and have motivated her to do the whole event. She is SO very concerned that she will be in after presentations too but is determined to finish. She is also nursing a knee injury and is beginning to stress out about what she has got herself into!! Her name is Alison and her phone number is [removed for privacy]. I know she would love to chat to you.

Regards, Sue Doust, Competitor Director

How wonderful to get this letter! How much better is it to know I'm not alone out there? I feel relieved and happy.


I think it's time for me to make a phone call!

Do I Believe?

I've had a few family members plan other things for the Blackwood Marathon weekend. This week, when I spoke to a relative, he said, "Oh! Are you still planning on doing that!?" as if he had expected me to back out.

And when chatting with a family friend about the event she more or less said she'd be proud to see me complete even just half of one leg!

Even Mat has suggested that I do only two or three legs, rather than all five.

Perhaps my nature or history might suggest that I would have backed out?  Perhaps there is so much doubt in my ability to complete that people would expect me to wait until I was "more ready"? Perhaps people don't know how much I have trained and that the timing seems to be now or never? Perhaps they realise that I would rather do WELL and therefore might not normally have tried to do such an event when I know there is every likelihood that I will, in fact, do quite poorly.

One of the first thoughts that comes to mind is a quote from a university professor Mr Swedburg, who didn't know it, but was paraphasing a quote from my grade 4 teacher, Mr Saas.

Mr Saas said:

If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.

And Mr Swedburg said:

Anything worth doing is worth doing badly.

It's true, I might be underprepared. I probably am. I might fail miserably. But the fact is I have tried! I haven't given up, and I have shown more stick-to-it-ness in this last year than I probably ever have for any other thing in my life! And I'm enjoying most of it, even the parts I'm not quite so good at! If nothing else, I am enjoying the learning and lessons!

This article from Sport at its Best is quite timely. He is referring to a few quotes from Agassi's book Open, where Agassi talks about how he was treated differently when he started to win, and how fleeting the good feeling of winning was. The author of this blog, Duff Gibson, says:

That’s why I believe that at the highest level, very successful athletes are more about the challenge than the actual victory.  In other words, the greatest fulfillment comes from the journey rather than the destination.

How often have we heard that in one form or another? But it seems far more true to me now that ever before, because now I have really challenged myself on this journey. It's been revealing and interesting, and to take a word from Duff: fulfilling!

Do I believe I can do the Blackwood Marathon? Yes, I do.
Do I believe I will do well? No, I don't.
Is there every chance I will fall in a heap? Yes, there is!
Possibly not even complete? Yes, that might happen.
Does it matter? Nope, not really!

It only matters now, to me, that I TRY. I can't do any better than that.



"At least not this year!" she says with a mischevious grin... ;)

Self-Doubt or Realistic Appraisal?

So, the last few days I've been really struggling with how well I am actually going to be able to do the Blackwood.

If you've been following me for any amount of time, you know that every few weeks or so I have a mini-meltdown, worry about being able to do it all, and then get back up and go out and train some more.

This doesn't feel the same. I feel genuinely concerned about my ability to complete the training and finish the whole Blackwood this year.

Several weeks ago I established that I was less than halfway there with more than half the disciplines. See my post here. Now let's re-evaluate. I have two concerns: preparedness and fatigue.

Discipline Preparedness:

1. Run 12km - yes I can do this, and should be able to maintain/improve the distance and time over the next few weeks. Confidence 100%
2. Paddle 8.5km - I don't know, I still haven't done this on water! Confidence: 50% (I can probably make it, it'll probably just hurt like hell! Or I might get wet!) 
3. Swim 1km - I still haven't had a swim since March! I know that was sort of part of the plan, but it's a bit nerve racking, and it's based on best-case-scenario: that they will open the pool early this year, and there is absolutely no guarantee of that. Confidence: 25% (I don't' think a 1km swim is very realistic with no training)
4. Horse 16km - I am sure we can make the distance. What I am not confident about is my ability to ride a potential lunatic horse. Confidence: 75% (just a bit of fear taking the top off this one)
5. Bike 20km - yes I can do this. It will be hard, I will be slow, but I can do it. I will probably not be satisfied with it, but am sure I can complete it. Confidence: 90% (It's going to be so tough, I am just not sure if I'll still be pedalling across the finish line!)

So I am better than half way there with more than half the disciplines. Though the water ones are a real problem in this bald prairie with no water to speak of.

If I were able to remove my competitive nature and say I am going to take as much time as I need to complete each leg, then, yes, I will be able to complete the full Blackwood Marathon. But I am so not a person who will just go and dotter along for the day. I want to know that I've done everything to my absolute best, which is why the confidence is low, even on items I know I can complete.

Fatigue and Tapering:

Then there is the fact that there are only 40 days to go! Just over a month, and I will need to start tapering soon.

The problem I am facing here (and this is where this lack of confidence is really coming from) is that my body is demanding in no uncertain terms that it wants to taper NOW! I am tired all the time and sleeping like I haven't slept in years! I don't know if this has anything to do with the medical problems my doctor and I are investigating - but my doctor says that my gal bladder shouldn't be affecting my energy levels, just my digestive issues, and these seem to be resolving themselves right now...

So maybe the fatigue is just that I have tried to do too much, that I have actually reached my genetic ceiling? I actually doubt that. I think I have more in the tank, I just don't know how to get it out!

This being tired makes me feel like I might destroy myself on the Blackwood; that I won't be able to continue training in these last weeks prior to the race, and therefore not be able to complete on the day.

My basic logic has been to listen to my body - sleep when I need to, eat when I'm hungry, and train only as much as absolutely necessary to maintain my levels. However, often I have been doing less than necessary, eating more than I need and sleeping ... well that just seems like something I could do all day and all night!

What are your thoughts? Is this just another case of self-doubt winning over reason? Any suggestions for improving my energy, and still training hard while trying to allow sufficient recovery? How do I squeeze more out of my tank?

Really looking forward to your input! :)

Squeezing it all In

Wednesday was a pretty good day. I didn't do a lot of big distances or anything, but I still managed to ride my horse, ride my bike, paddle and do Body Odyssey! The only bad thing: I didn't get a nap squeezed in like I had hoped!

I called Helen and asked if she wanted to do a quick Police Pools ride with me in the morning, but she was already doing the Carmetticup Loop, which I am in no shape to do, especially not at her speeds, but I could meet her and Nic on Trimmer Road as they finish up. Even though they already had 45km behind them, much of it into the wind, they were still faster than me! So even though I did alright, and comparatively I did quite well compared to my solo runs, it was still frustrating to feel so very slow!

I fear that's my biggest failing with cycling. Frustration! As much as I might improve, I am always finding myself frustrated with my inability to get past certain things. I can't seem to get my cadence up, I can't get up those hills as well, I can't bring my overall average up to where I wish it were. Of course, the only way to actually accomplish that would be to ride more, but I don't because I seem to experience frustration in greater abundance than success, which isn't very motivating! :)

Anyway, prior to that I did a short bareback session with TK working on our brakes. I did much better with Chris helping to keep me doing it right, but it was good to get on him and have just a short play. If nothing else, that contact helps reinforce the bond between horse and rider and by being a short session, neither of us got frustrated. We practiced, we finished, everyone went home happy. It wasn't perfect, but it was progress.

I also paddled for the few minutes I had between the horse ride and bike ride. Glad I did it, I could really feel the muscles reminding me that I haven't used them in awhile and they needed the training. Hope to get on the water this Sunday. We'll see if things go a bit better than last weekend!

And then finally, at 6:00pm, Kirsty, Amanda and I taught Body Odyssey as our new release launch format! Oh my goodness it was SO MUCH FUN! We did 4 Body Pump tracks, 5 Body Attack tracks, and 4 Body Balance tracks, with a cooldown & stretch. We had 23 people in class, we had Lorna Jane clothing for sale down the back, and it looked like a party! It was so exciting! Since nothing can be perfect, I started the Ab track with the Hips music! hahaha OOPS!

All-in-all, it was a busy and productive day! I was really happy with the training I squeezed in, particularly with the other commitments I had during the day.

I went home and was in bed by 9:30!

Today was less interesting. Just work and Attack today. We were busy at work, lots of meetings, setting up, tearing down, changing over. And we had an afternoon tea. This means my Seniors Gym class has snacks after class. Snacks, when produced by marvellous cooks with decades of experience means I eat way more than I need to. Body Attack burns off about 400 calories in the hour. I would need to do about five classes to burn off what I ate today! Oh heavens! Shall we call it carbo-loading to justify? :) hehe

How good was this week?

I had a great week!

I did everything (yes everything) I said I was going to do, and have really found my new priorities to be really working for me.

This Saturday and Sunday will be the first two days that I will not be able to accomplish everything (yes, truly, everything!) I set out to, because I have to work today and tomorrow.  People are falling down sick all over the place and we have some massive events this month. Also, my bike is in Albany getting serviced, so I can't even spin today.  These are all great reasons for having a break!

So today will be a rest day, and tomorrow will be a compressed workout following work (I should be done by 12... 1 at the latest), and then back on track with my workouts on Monday. And since I have the whole day off Monday except to teach my class, I can make up for my missed workouts. And get some more gardening done too, I hope!

I will also make bread today.  Mmmm... Loving fresh home made bread!

I am so happy to be eating well, feeling energised, and working through everything on my list. Even the dishes are getting done!

Plus, Dana sent me a link for an idea called "mobilisations" to see if it will help with my tight glutes and hamstrings, and I tried a few different things at work today during a few lulls. And I feel GREAT! The simple point that resonated with me is that purposeful repeated movement that feels good will help stretch, heal, and relieve! And it does! So no more just whining, doing a small stretch, and then carrying on with sore muscles. It can be worked out gently and progressively!

Thanks so much Dana! Great link!

I'm Scared!

There's not long to go now.

13.5 weeks.

94 days.

And so much to do.  The numbers are getting bigger, the times longer, the challenge greater...

And I'm scared!  I'm starting to become overwhelmed by it all.  In a paralysing kinda way. 

The sheer magnitude of what I am undertaking is now staring me right down the barrels.  I can see VERY clearly the end goal. I can genuinely feel how much work this is going to be. And doubt is not just creeping in, but really snaking in, and wrapping itself around my chest, and squeezing.

Right now, when I think of the end goal, I can't see past the work in the way of accomplishing it, and although I know in a logical way that if I stick to my plan, and work the numbers and focus on my diet as I have been, that I can and will succeed at crossing the finish line.  The problem is that the heart doesn't give a damn about logic! 

I am at an impasse. I'm not sure how to unravel the fear and keep pushing forward. I mean, I am sure I will figure it out, but wow, what a terrible thing to be caught in these invisible clutches and unsure how to get out.

I suppose little-by-little, day-by-day, is really the answer.  Just making myself get out there and do it. One little hurdle at a time should build my confidence in my ability to complete the biggest hurdle of them all.  And knowing that I really only have to do 'the day' one event at a time. 

What would I tell a client in this situation?

• Consistency is the key success.
• Work in small steps to reach big goals.
• Focus on the desired outcome (the exhilaration of completing!)
• Work your plan.
• Modify when you need to.
• Rest and Reward yourself for your hard work.
• And be nice to yourself: try to turn every negative thought into a positive thought!

So, here I go!  

What's that old adage?  Courage isn't the absence of fear, it's about feeling fear and doing it anyway.

Or, in the words of Nelson Mandela:

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

Wish me luck, and all kinds of other good things! :) 

There is so much good in the world!

Just a short note, a link and a few unfinished thoughts...

http://operationbeautiful.com/

Operation Beautiful.  What a good idea!  There's been a lot of discussion on negative self-talk in many of the blogs I follow.  It's a killer of self-esteem, power and the ability to succeed.

The general message: misery loves company, and misery gets stronger if left to roll along unchecked!

We are all bombarded by enough negativity, and most of it comes from within us!  We do this to ourselves!

Operation Beautiful, and many other great sites talk about the power of positive self-talk, about being your own champion, and singing your own praises!

It's time to talk to yourself they way you'd talk to your best friend, with praise and love and excitement and encouragment.

There's Never Enough Sunday

I love Sunday. By the time Sunday rolls around I'm feeling wound down and domestic. I'm ready to potter all day. I'm pretty sure if left to my devices, I could accomplish anything on a Sunday, given enough time.

So this Sunday I painted my front hall.  Oh it is marvellous now!  Only first coat on, and will probably require three coats to get all that blue covered up.  But the front hall glows with welcome now!  It's no longer a deep cavernous hole!

At 3:45 Helen called and asked if I was riding at 4pm, so I quickly piled into my bike clothes and headed out for another cruise down Police Pools Road.  This time we had Graeme and Rachel joining us.  We were taking it pretty easily, as Rachel is a new rider, but Helen needed to get a few more miles banked up for the Tour, so she and I shot ahead. We were concerned about losing daylight (sunset at 5:15), so needed to put the pedal to the metal! We were going a pretty steady 27 most of the way out, and I was working hard to stick to her wheel for the length of the ride.  I was pretty pleased when, on the the return trip, I was able to stick to a 25ish average still!  Day two back on the bike and it felt great!

I must say, I am so lucky to have Helen and Carl as friends.  They are so active, supportive, and just generally great people.  They keep me motivated and help to push me where I wouldn't push myself.

Renewed Vigour

After looking at where I am in relation to my goal yesterday, I have found a renewed sense of purpose to my training, so have had two wonderful workouts in the last two days.

Last night I got to spin on my bike for the first time!  I was watching NCIS, and planned to stay on for the whole show, but just couldn't!  I got about 35 minutes through and my butt and legs were really aching.  Out of practice, but I thought it was a good start and I am committed to my plan and will continue to work towards four hours or more on the bike each week.  I will also remember to wear my bike shorts, because it's amazing what a difference the padding makes to one's comfort!

This morning, I had to go in to work to clean up after last night's last Healthy Bodies Seminar.  We cooked a meal ourselves, and shared it, which was wonderful!  We had a great time, and ran overtime.  Security nearly locked us in, so the dishes didn't get done.  We had an event on at 10am so I went in at 8 to do dishes, thinking it'd take me 30 minutes, then planned to do 30 minutes on the tready.

Dishes took a lot longer than that, and I also decided I needed a longer run to get the 6km in that I was aiming for taking the hills into account, so in the end didn't get home until after 10am.  Oops! And so much to do here too!

But the run was great!  6km, 40 minutes, hill intervals at level 6, which means a maximum grade of 4.9%.  I will probably need to work towards a 10% grade to get hill-ready enough, but there is also the outdoor training that will take that into account.   Anyway, I really felt the burn, but no pain in the knee or hip.  I am pretty sure I burned WAY more calories than the little machine said!! I think I will also wear the heart rate strap next time, rather than using the hand sensors, so I can get a more consistent read out, but I seemed to be working around 85-90% most of the times that I checked my heart rate.

The other thing I've resolved to do is actually GET UP when my alarm goes off. Today the alarm went off at 7:15am - the official time of sunrise. And each week I will bring the time forward a few minutes to coincide with the increasing daylight, and my increasing need for longer workouts!

My new plan is still a work in progress, as there are a few changes coming to the schedule in light of a few programs ending, the school term changing, school holidays on the way, and new programs starting in 3 or 4 weeks.  But I think it'll actually be better - there shouldn't be any split shifts to work around, and that will definitely make things easier to plan around.

I'm going to be ready!

Half-Way There! Am I Ready!?

I have 18 weeks to go!

It might sound like a lot of time left, but really, it isn't.  I've got 9 weeks recorded here already (haven't they flown by?!) and another 20 weeks under my belt before I started recording this.  It's taken a long time to get where I am already, and there's less than that amount of time left to get me where I want to go.

So at the approximately half-way point, am I half-way there?

• Run 12km - I want to be able to run 24km to have legs left over by the end of the 12km run. Yes, I am 50% there, I can run 12km.  But I need to get this distance up up up to have the extra strength and stamina to complete the next four legs of the race.
• Paddle/kayak 8.5km - I need to be able to paddle for about 2 hours, or 17km. No I am not there.  The longest I have rowed on the rowing machine is about 50 minutes, and this isn't utilising the same arm action as required for the double-handed arm-over-arm action that is used in a kayak.  I need to get ahold of a paddle, so I can just sit in the lounge room and paddle to get the arm strength up.  Then I need to get ahold of a kayak and get onto the water. Even if only once a month, I still need some practice out on the water!
• Swim 1km - I believe a freestyle (front crawl) swim of 1km in the pool will be an equivalent training distance to match my needs in the race.  The race is in open, flowing water, and you travel with the current, so a 1km pool swim will probably take me 40 minutes or so (huge guestimate there), but the average time in the moving water is only 15 minutes.  However, I am not half-way there, due to lack of water.  The pool will reopen hopefully in October. If not, I may have to don the wetsuit and have a swim in the river! (brrrr!!) However, I am still confident that if the pool opens in early October I will have enough fitness and just need to put in 2-3 short sessions per week leading up to the event to get the breathing and technique re-established.
• Ride Horse 16km - I feel that TK is capable of this ride now.  I want to do a lot more training with him, and tune up the fitness and our race pacing, and go over our vetting and cooling procedures so those are more established.  But I think we are over half-way there.  The 20km endurance ride at the end of July will really help us gauge if my confidence is well-founded or not.
• Cycle 20km - I was there, piece of cake, but now, not so much.  I have not ridden my bike for weeks and weeks, and I decondition from cycling rather quickly. It's the one discipline I really need to maintain to do effectively.  And I need to be able to do a hilly 20km cycle after I do all this other stuff!  So, bring on the mag trainer!  I plan to cycle at least four hours per week to keep the legs fit.  Then I need to get out and do one training ride to Woody and back at least once a month. Pray for good weather because I am going to have no choice, I need to do those hills, feel the wind resistance, work the gears!

So, that's a bit of a bummer.  Of the 5 disciplines, I am only half-way there with 2 of them.  Swimming aside, that's only 50% of 50%!  I'm not so good at math, but I think that means I am only 25% of the way there!

I am glad I did this re-evaluation.  It has reminded me that matters are now pressing, and that I can't be having the slack days I have!  If I miss a workout, it needs to be made up, because I am truly running out of time!

Time to put pen to paper and start re-scheduling my workouts!

When I Grow Up I Want to be Like My Mother

My Mom is one of those effective people. Constantly doing something productive. My Mom, it has always seemed to me, is always on the go, has always been able to make a list and get through it.  She has always seemed capable of developing a new habit simply by force of will - she seems to simply need to decide to accomplish something and she will.  She may not be rich or famous, or someone they write about in the Seven Habits type books, but surely she has most of those habits or characteristics.

I wonder how she does it.  Because I am currently working on accomplishing so much more than usual, I have thought to get some advice from my mother. I have even thought that I should interview her.

But what questions would I ask her? Here's a few that pop into mind (keeping in mind I'm not much of a reporter!):

• have you always been highly productive or have you taught yourself skills to be more efficient and productive?
• what drives you to keep going?
• do you feel you balance productivity with relaxation and time for yourself?
• how do you manage your daily list of tasks?
• when you plan your list, how do you manage the time? ie: are you very certain on the time-line or required time for the task, or do you over-allocate time to complete the task?
• do you ever have tasks you fail to accomplish on your list? How do you cope/feel about not accomplishing tasks?
• how do you cope with changes to your plans, or interference from outside forces?
• how much of your daily routine is simply "habit"? Do you do many tasks simply as a matter of course in your day?
• what habits have been most difficult to integrate or develop?  Which were easiest?
• how do you stay motivated? Do you ever have feelings of lethargy, or days where you feel you won't be able to do the things you planned?
• is your day more about "have to's" or "want to's"?
• what is your "system" for organising or accomplishing things?
• how do you rate the importance of each task?  Do you weight the tasks so you can change or delegate activities?
• do you reward yourself when you accomplish certain tasks?  What would be a reward to you? And under what circumstances would you feel you "deserve" a reward?

What might you ask a person who has traits you seek to emulate? What other questions could I ask to get more in-depth or revealing replies?

Jumbled Up

I have a lot on my mind. I have a lot going on, and I think I have a lot to say, but it's all jumbled up.

In no particular order, things on my mind:

I've been dealing with the shift, once again, from a positive to a negative mind-set. I could feel the frustration coming at work on Friday, the desire to lash out rising in me again, and I didn't like it, so have been reflecting on trying to get back to that quiet calm me.  I had been feeling really mellow, in control, relaxed.  Yes, relaxed is the right word.  No matter how busy I was, I didn't feel stressed, rushed or panicked. It was nice. I did some NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) with a friend a few weeks ago, and although it seemed a little corny, and was sometimes confronting, it did really level a few things out in me mentally and emotionally.  Seems I might be in need of a 'touch up' or something.

And I've been looking around at my house, wondering when I did dishes last, or went for groceries last and can't help but wonder what I've been doing this last week!  Despite writing down a little bit of a daily note that I post up as my weekly update, and reflecting on what I have done for workouts each day, I haven't felt like I've actually been all that busy. So where has my time gone?  Why do I have dishes filling the entire kitchen counter?  Why didn't I notice that we were running out of bread? How come I haven't cooked my chilli chicken yet?  What are we going to eat?  You can't tell that I washed the floors, and the pile of clean laundry on the couch is starting to get worn, which means that the pile of dirty laundry in the basket is growing!  Ah, the never-ending house work problem.

I know some of this stress and delay comes from the fact that I haven't had running water three mornings this week - the pipes have frozen solid! But that shouldn't stop me from doing dishes once they thaw and I get home from work.  But I've come home from work so tired I've gone nearly straight to bed! I have had pretty productive days, and they have been pretty full, and have often had to spend an extra hour or so at work for various reasons this week.  But I am often leaving in the cold and dark and/or returning in the cold and dark. Maybe the cold just makes me want to hibernate?

I have also felt the frustration of having an unfinished house rear its ugly head again and again.  Since the weather turned it has highlighted the many faults of our home. No insulation, missing cladding on the exterior wall, exposed water pipes, and heat escaping through the gaps in the floors. I know house are built for summers and not winters here in Australia, but it is very annoying to have to wear layers inside, which can be removed once outside.  It is frequently several degrees warmer outside than in!  Not a nice feeling to a Canadian, who always wants to feel comfortable inside!

And I have been missing my family. My sister is building her house and both Mat and I wanted to be there to help her, and it'll be all done and dusted before we even get close to Canada again. I miss my Mom and grandparents.

My workouts have been going reasonably well.  I have been disappointed with my arm injury, but am quite content to work around it and prevent further damage. I was sad to have a hurt horse, but he seems much better today!  I am really wanting to go to Bunbury to buy my bike toys so I can enjoy riding my bike again!

Mat and I have been working so much we hardly see each other, and we're both so exhausted, we barely speak.  Or when we speak, we're both focused on our own problems - we frequently have what I think of as parallel conversations: he talks about the header front he's working on and I talk about the horse's leg; he talks about the price of shipping steel rod from Perth, and I talk about how the person who booked that big event kept changing their mind, and so on.

Today, Saturday, after working for only 4 hours, I came home so tired I needed a 2 hour nap!  I just feel I should be able to do better, to do more.  You know?

I will probably feel better if I knock a few things off my to-do list. So, where to start on that list of mine?
- Horse ride
- Run
- Dishes
- Floors
- Laundry
- Balance Training
- Groceries (can't be done until Monday morning now, everything closes after 1pm on a Saturday - welcome to Oz!)
- Cook
- Mow the lawn (weeds)

Despite the lovely weather outside, I think I am going to start with dishes. They are a constant nagging reminder... they make me feel ... hmmm ... mismanaged?  That's the best I can put it.

I might try mowing the lawn and then just a 10 minute bareback ride on TK before the dark falls. I only have about 2 hours of light left.  I can run tomorrow, and hopefully I am full of vigour then!

Reasons To Run

I found this awhile ago, and to me, these reasons 'feel' better than all the physical benefits lists (bone density, strength, flexibility, heart health and so on).  I like the idea of changing focus for each month, too.  It doesn't have to be "to run" either.  It could be any physical activity you enjoy!

January - New Beginnings
February - Efficiency & Strength
March - Health & Vitality
April - Achievements & Satisfaction
May - Feel Good Factor & Adrenaline Rush
June - Variety & Stimulation
July - Fun & Participation
August - Adaptability & Versatility
September - Sociability
October - Appreciation of Nature
November - Simplicity & Independence
December - Weight Loss & Maintenance

What 'feel good' reasons do you have to exercise?

Just one question...

I got asked this awhile ago in a course and I am really stuck.  So thought I would share and see how you respond to the following:

Name two things you are incredible at.

Not 'good at', not 'okay at', but INCREDIBLE at.

Wow, how hard is that?

I am really struggling.

The interesting thing is that we could name a million things we are horrible at, but don't focus or remember or can't seem to find the positive!  Part of this may be because even if others think of us as incredible at something, we still want to be better at that thing.  We may see the problems or errors in that thing we are incredible at where others cannot.

So, I think one thing I am really good at (I hesitate to use incredible) is seeing two dimensional drawings in three dimensions.  I really can look at a floor plan and to a great extent a contours map, and build it up and 'see' the inside, the rise and fall, the edges and walls.

I also think I'm a very good goal setter (again with the hesitation to use incredible... interesting). I can set a goal and work well backwards, formulating the plan and the tools and everything to make the progression forward.  I'm not necessarily the greatest goal achiever but that's a different skill all together!

How would you answer that question?  What are you incredible at?

Visions Goals Action Steps

I have taken a Wellness Coaching course. It's a really neat discipline, and highly complimentary to being a fitness instructor. I try to help my clients set goals and move towards their vision of healthy living! And, as I always say, I should practice what I preach!

So, to move towards wellness you need a vision, goals, and action steps.

I have been really focused on the Blackwood Marathon, obviously, and part of me was asking “Yeah, but then what?” In other words, I was wondering what would happen after I finished? Would I just end up in a big lump, gain a thousand pounds and be done with fitness? I mean, to be serious, this is a ridiculous schedule I'm trying to maintain. Do I really want to work out this hard and spead myself this thin forever? No, not really. And I didn't want the other option either! So I needed to spend some time exploring my purpose, my vision.

Now, it's still forming, but I simply changed the focus from the EVENT to the INTENT. My vision currently is:

I am a person who can compete in marathon events.

Too simple?

Not really. After this event, shouldn't I be able to do any event I want? So even if I decide that I don't want to do 5 sports, I only want to swim – I can swim the Rott-Cott swim if I feel like it! I don't have to do all sports all the time! And I can still keep very fit! And the follow-ons of that: the nutrition, the health, the discipline – it all stays. It helps keep me on my wellness path!

So, after you have a vision, you need Goals. Obviously, my ultimate goal is:

To complete the Blackwood Marathon Relay Race on 30th October 2010 as an Iron Woman.

And then you need to break down the ultimate goal into Three Month Goals.
I won't bore you with those, mainly because I haven't actually done them. But it is a good idea, especially to have a target distance, speed, etc, at the three month mark to know that I'm on track to my ultimate goal.  Something for me to do.... put it on the list!

However, I do have many Weekly Goals, as I have laid out a plan for all my sports and hopefully I do better than 60% for the next 20 or so weeks! Basically, I like to think of my Weekly Goals as just my schedule. Easy! I have a schedule, I just need to stick to it!

And after that, you need Action Steps.
Sometimes you have small goals, like “run 5km” which, isn't too hard (relatively speaking) to accomplish, but some people need to have a few action steps to get there, such as “buy running shoes” or “see a doctor to get medical clearance to start exercise”. They're not really goals in themselves, but things you might need to do to get started.

I've taken care of most of my action steps. But I do keep adding things to the list. Like, “buy a Garmin Forerunner 305”  and other great but unnecessary things.

Maybe I should reflect on the fact that I don't really need that much gear, and why do I want all the shiney things with buttons? … Maybe I'm just a magpie! :) But I guess that's a whole other post!!

Just a Thought

I was saying to Dana in a comment that I'm looking forward to summer again. Ironically, it's not even *really* winter here yet. And it's not really summer in Canada yet. We're hanging around on that cusp. But here in Oz, we're heading into one of my least productive times. And I need to come up with some strategies to solve the dilemma of my negative attitude towards work and exercise in the winter time. This is something I've written about lots.

So what are some possible solutions?

#1: Well, I had the thought yesterday as I was heading of to sleep that if I summered in Canada, and trained all summer there, then came back to Australia for summer here... well, I wouldn't have the winter blahs! I think that sounds like a GOOD IDEA! Plus I'd get to see my family on both sides of the world... I love it!

Idea number one is a good one! But it will be hard to accomplish. What do I need to do to make that happen? How can I do it? What do we do with our animals for 6 months of the year? Can we afford to ship them overseas? What do I have to give up to make this all happen?

Or, what are the alternatives? Positive thoughts? NLP intervention? Spend the money on the gadgets like a treadmill, wind trainer, heart rate monitor? Or hire a personal trainer?

Any thoughts?

How can I survive winter and improve my fitness towards my goal when my motivation wanes in the darkness?

Struggling Along

I took a few days off last week due to other commitments and taking some time out for Mat and I. It was great. :)

But now I'm struggling to get back into the swing of things, and have only done the bare minimum. In fact, right now I should have already finished my run, and been onto saddling my horse. Then after finishing my ride I was going to bake some snacks, shower, and head to work. But I am on the computer, no run under my belt, and the horses aren't even fed. And it's 8:30am!

Reasons?

Partly, I suppose, because I didn't really lay out a plan for the week, I was still playing it a bit by ear, so I hadn't really committed to what I was going to do.

Also, I was focusing on my diet and scheduling in time for meal planning and shopping and food preparation. This isn't a big deal for many people, but I'm a rice and tuna or pasta and tuna person. Boring and probably not so nutritionally complete. So this has taken a bit more time than I had thought - but well worth it to enjoy a great meal that Mat and I planned together.

And finally, because it's easy to do less! It's nice to sleep past 6am. I know why getting up early and exercising at the start of the day is a good idea, but I still struggle with it in the winter time. I don't like doing things in the dark!

But I suppose I have run out of excuses and it's time to get moving! I'll get dressed (yup, still in my pj's!) feed the boys, go for a run, and take TK for a spin, even if it's a short one.

Back on the wagon!!

Breaking Barriers

There are benchmarks in our lives. Things that you look ahead to, like turning 18, or your first trip overseas, or graduation, that mark the beginning of something new, a barrier broken, an end to something withheld.

And some benchmarks are smaller, but are still important barriers that you want to break through. Little tests for yourself. I make a million of these, I set them all the time. Sometimes they set themselves. To me these are the things that seem out of reach, unless you put in a big effort and lots of work!

For example, riding my bike to the end of the bitumen and back the first time on Police Pools Road (20km), was massive! Then there was riding ALL the way to Woodanilling (20km with hills), where I got picked up and driven back home, completely exhausted by the ordeal. Then there's the ride to Woody and BACK! What an achievement! And after riding to Kojonup (40km with huge hills and no real resting spots) I was on a high for days!

These were all big bike barriers, and when broken, there was such a great sense of accomplishment, I can recall thinking: I've made it that far! I NEVER would have thought I was capable of that 3/6/12 months ago.

And today I busted through the 10km running barrier.
FINALLY!! And it was AWESOME!!

I had been planning for it for ages, but if you had asked me 6 months ago when it would happen, or even if I would be possible, I would have completely doubted it. Six months ago I struggled to run 1km without pain. I frequently had to walk, rest, I tried different kinds of shoes, knee braces, techniques, speeds, training programs... and then I found the combination that worked and kept working at it!! And I made it!

Running 1km without stopping and without pain was the first barrier. And it took ages to get to that big 5km mark. From there, 10km wasn't too far away, but it held out a little longer than I had hoped, my training program would have had me running it a few weeks ago, but it doesn't matter, because I did it!!

And, I never would have thought I would ever say this with the truth and enthusiasm that I am about to, but IT WAS FUN!

I know, fun?! What? Seriously?

I had an absolute blast! The weather was nice, especially considering we were getting some of our first winter rains and we didn't get rained on, the track was good, and in a few places required some quick feet, or a little jump over some obstacle, which made it interesting. There were a few hills, and it wound along... and I got to do some reminiscing. I used to ride my horse, Cassie, along that track, and I started thinking about taking TK down there.

And I felt strong and capable. When we turned around at the 5km mark, I felt like I was running really freely, strong and fast. Well it turns out I'm not fast, but it FELT fast, and for me that's good enough! And I didn't have to stop to rest, and I didn't even want to!!

It was great! I couldn't have been happier with that run!

Next big benchmarks:

• 12km run - the actual distance of the event. And after that, hitting anything over 20km will be incredible!
• 50km bike ride to Dumbleyung
• 20km enduro on TK

There's still swimming and paddling to work on, but no water makes for no training which makes for no benchmarks. They'll come though! All in due time!